Post Script

If anyone asked, these would be my personal tips about cyberknife radiation.

1. Having eye holes poked in your mask is vital. (You miss really cool stuff AND I felt like I was suffocating otherwise.)

2. I thought it would be really nice to have a book on cd specifically for radiation. That way me and my technician would be able to listen to it. Doesn’t that sound so nice and thoughtful…? Didn’t really work; with all the noises you miss out on some of what’s going on in your book and you don’t always have the same technician and they can’t hear everything and are focused on your treatment anyway. (Music cds or iPod – totally the way to go.)

3. I started really getting tired the second week. The fifth week was RIDICULOUS how tired I was! It was everything I could do to get up for work (at my computer at home) and get myself to radiation. Not much else. Ate a lot of fast food, skipped a lot of activities I would have liked to be a part of. They say you can still be a part of normal life, but for me – that was not an option.

4. For me the hair loss wasn’t super noticeable until the fifth week. And even more noticeable the week after! 14 days later, the patches are still as smooth as if I’d waxed them. I’ll keep you posted to how that pans out.

5. Being positive is the best way to get through it! Of course, everyone has those days when it feels like life isn’t fair and you’re so done with having a brain tumor and how can you possibly get through it - those days a really good cry does WONDERS. I’ve had days (notice the plural) that I just want to be done (oh I so just want this to be done, why isn’t this done?!) and I don’t understand why it’s happening to me (shouldn’t it be happening to someone who’s chronically mean?!); then I remember that Heavenly Father knows me and what I can get through. We were sent here to be tried and this is definitely one of those “trial” things. It reminds me of my most favorite quote that has helped me through this all. It’s from Neal A Maxwell. "One's life. . . cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free. . . Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, "Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!” Real faith. . . is required to endure this necessary but painful developmental process." (So have faith and be positive!)

6. I think it’s probably normal to feel a little depressed after your treatment is over. I’ve felt so far removed from most of my friends (work, church, walking buddies) then when my “hospital” friends aren’t there to fill in the gaps… it’s HARD. As things get back to normal, I imagine life will get back to normal too. I’ve kept in contact with my hospital friends through email. And I made a special effort to call a friend and go do something random – that helped a lot!