Random thoughts

As an update to the last post, I got a callback for My Fair Lady. It was for what I consider the most boring part in the entire show - Mrs. Pearce the housekeeper. I told them thank you (I actually was flattered that they wanted me in the show even as an old boring lady.) but no thank you. I was only interested in trying for the lead role.

I totally knew going in that they wouldn't cast me as Eliza Doolittle because I'm 31 and a size 14-ish. I think that somewhere deep down I really really hoped that they might be open to something outside the status quo. (Too much High School Musical and baking athletes for me.) I guess I should know better when it comes to theater. (And I apologize to the 3 people reading this who have already heard the story 50 times but I want the other 2 people who read my blog to hear it too.) I think the worst part for me was the realization that even if I were a size 6, I still wouldn't be the "classic beauty" they look for in leading ladies. I'm not sure why that makes me feel bad because I love character roles. I'd rather have Mrs. Hannigan over Ms. Farrell anyday. And character roles are usually filled by women with "unique beauty".

I came home from the callback feeling really sad and my husband told me how beautiful he thinks I am. (Which I know is true - he even prefers me without make-up although I still can't figure out why.) I was very grateful to have his reassurance. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't disappointed and that it was all good. I really shouldn't do that because it only ended up in tears at work the next day. The ironic thing is that once I let myself be disappointed and cry, I was able to accept it and move on. (And I even laughed sharing the story with a couple friends over lunch the following day. One of the girls is in work choir with me and she had auditioned for My Fair Lady in high school and was embarrassed to be in the ensemble.)

Looking forward, I'm going to audition for Nunsense in March. I think I have a VERY good chance of getting a part in this one. It's about 5 nuns giving a benefit show to raise money to bury the other nuns who died in an unfortunate food poisoning accident. All 5 parts are character parts and there are 2 (a nun from NY who does nun impressions and a nun with amnesia) that I think I'd be especially good at. I really do love to perform. It's such an amazing creative outlet for me.

Other things going on in my life... I'm a little addicted to Facebook. It makes me realize that I really need to get out with my friends in real life and not just online. I'm also entering into one of my difficult seasons of the year for my depression. I have a real hard time in the very beginning of the year then again like 8 months later. The beginning of the year one is usually way harder than the end of the year one. Sigh. Depression is such a pain in the bum. Not that I usually share this with the world, but I've decided to change meds again and that's always difficult. I can't think of a single easy med change in the past 15 years. Not one. Another sigh.

This week I get 4 dogs to enjoy. They are all chilling around the living room right now. All 4 sprawled out in 4 corners of the room. I'm a fan.

Richard is out front trying to get our 1966 Chevy truck working. I can hear it cranking but no engine firing up. So disappointing for both of us. But he's so incredibly talented with this stuff, I know he'll get it working in no time at all.

Well, I'm not sure what made me want to write a novel on the blog today, but it's certainly an open, wordy entry. (Nothing like the delightful entries of my youngest brother - that kid can write.) Since it'll pretty much be my husband, parents and grandparents who actually read the entire thing through - sure love you guys.